You know, it really is too short for most things.
Life. Four letters, and yet it means so much to our very souls.
One of the things I loved about being a photographer was all the amazing people that I got to meet. I photographed the guy who invented the mechanical heart. I photographed God – well, actually it was George Burns… but, you know. I photographed Kevin Johnson and several mayors, a Senator or two and lots of musicians.
I photographed a porn princess and a Supreme Court nominee in the same week. I turned down an ‘opportunity’ to photograph some tennis guy named McEnroe (who needs that BS in their life?), and spent an enjoyable afternoon with Phyllis Diller. Tatum O’Neal was a pure waste of air, and James Garner was a hell of a nice guy.
So many fascinating people.
But I never wanted to be a celebrity photographer. Seriously, I do not see how anyone willingly submits to being treated as badly as some celebrities choose to treat those around them. I simply don’t think that much of celebrity, or pop culture for that matter.
After a while, I only wanted to shoot real people – scientists, authors, astronauts and auto mechanics. And fashion models. I shot a lot of fashion models.
In those days the studio was always full of people dropping by; models between gigs, MUA’s, set builders and friends in the business. It was a safe place to go, and we had sort of a ‘family’ thing going.
But as in any family, drama and asshattedness would occasionally raise its ugly head.
I used to try to fix people who couldn’t seem to fit in or do the right thing. I felt I had an obligation to help them get better, be better, and hopefully save their careers. Or at least maintain a softer trajectory for the inevitable crash that we all saw coming. No. I do not know where I got the idea that it was up to me, but standing idly by and watching people crash in flames was a more objectionable route. So I gave it my best shot.
I think I helped some, and others became such a serious drain on me and what I was doing that one fateful afternoon I simply felt empty. Nothing left to give.
And I stopped. Just like that.
I stopped being the intermediary, the mediator of dramas small and large and the confidant for yet more indiscretions and bad, bad choices. It was difficult to do, and it was an emotional time. I had to tell someone who was a long time friend that his negativity was toxic, and it hurt. Him and me. I said so long to someone who had been in my life for nearly ten years as it became such a drag on everyone when she was around. I felt cruel and mean, but I also knew that their toxicity was taking a far greater toll on me than the ‘breakup’.
Seems like being a photographer also meant meeting a lot of people who actually end up being rather unsavory types.
Photographers who wanted to share space with me so they could hang with the models, maybe ‘get lucky’ in the process. Models who felt that they needed me to make photographs that would satisfy some narcissistic foible that gave them a reason to live. Assistants who really wanted a chance at my clients, and to take a short route to exemplary success.
One night as I was falling asleep I suddenly remembered that I had left something very important at the studio and would need it the next morning for a project I was working on. As I drove up to the studio, I was very surprised to see nearly a dozen cars in the parking lot. Loud music was blaring through the open door and I walked in through a bunch of scantily clad models to find my assistant shooting for a hair salon. He had not asked me, nor advised me of the gig and when he saw me his face fell to the floor.
I smiled, told him to have a great shoot (I wasn’t really going to be a jerk and embarrass him in front of clients), grabbed the thing I needed and headed home.
Was I mad? Hell yes. I am responsible for what happens in my studio – both from a reputation standpoint and a legal standpoint.
Next afternoon I fired him.
Nicely – but firmly.
And the funny thing is, I would have told him it was fine to use the studio for the salon shoot had he asked. Not a gig I was interested in, and it would have shown some ethics on his part to ask. By not asking, he also showed his level of ethics.
Another time a photographer I was sharing space with decided he didn’t need to bother with his own lighting, but would use mine after I shot and while I was awaiting film. Rule was we NEVER tore down a set until the film got back. If something went wrong at the lab, we would not have to redo the set. So a set from one afternoon would be torn down the next morning after picking the film up at the lab – unless there was a problem that necessitated a reshoot. Rare, but rare is not never.
I found out through a model who was very loyal to me that one of the photographers at the studio was booking evening shoots and simply using my lighting.
Now let me explain something… I am not a prima donna about what I do, but in some cases what I was doing represented a lot of investment in time and money. My twice yearly trips to NYC to shoot and learn and assist fashion photographers netted me ideas and lighting that I was using to build my client base in Phoenix. And if another photographer wanted to spend a couple of thousand a week on a trip to NYC to learn, that was fine with me. But using what I had busted my ass to learn was NOT on the menu.
We parted ways.
Last I heard he was in refrigeration school… and there is certainly nothing wrong with that.
One of my personal challenges (flaws?) is dealing with those who betray the trust and loyalty I give as default. I rarely give second chances.
I know I should consider it, probably in some cases it is warranted. But I don’t. And yeah, I think it may be a bit of a character flaw and not one I am fond of. But early on I found that second chances usually led to being taken advantage of a second time, and so I simply stopped. Life is too short to spend it worrying about or fighting with asshats.
If you are focused on problems with your friends, cohorts with sociopathic tendencies, or trying to protect your IP on a daily basis it will ground you down and leave you creatively broken.
Let me assure you that the drama of being a photographer is enough for any sane human. Adding to it those who act in deceitful ways is simply “piling on” and should be avoided at all costs. Instead surround yourself with good people who you trust, and who trust you. People who have your back – without a target on it,
Let’s face it. You will be happier, and they will be happier not having to live with the knowledge that they are cheating or ‘getting over’ on you. So it’s a win-win.
At least that is how I look at it.
PHOTO INFO
Somewhere on the Oregon Coast.
